How Love Affects One’s Ability to Adapt to Changes and Reflect on Who They Are as a Person

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Lianna St. Francis, Writer

How does love affect one’s ability to adapt to changes and reflect on who they are as a person? How can you tell whether you really love a person?

Love is a complicated, yet meaningful, word and is heard throughout the world. “I love you” could be said from a family member or a partner. But to really know love, you have got to realize what you have or what you did have. You may say you love someone and lose them and feel nothing. You may say you love someone, lose them and it feels like a tornado shattered your heart. Love comes in many forms. It can be shown through anger, jealousy, the way you speak, the way you look at someone. 

I have experienced love; I have experienced the pain, the tornado shattering your heart; I have felt the can’t eat, can’t sleep, “I want you back” feeling. I have loved, and you may experience love in short-term or long term relationships. My form of love was a long-term serious relationship.  When you lose someone you truly love, it can hurt; it can feel like your world is falling apart, but you can’t give up on yourself. 

Heartache can bring on physical responses, such as pain in your chest, also known as “broken heart syndrome” It can be brought on by anger, grief, anxiety. Some struggle with weight fluctuations, either binging on food such as ice cream or eating very little to nothing, causing the individual to feel sick. Refusing to fill your body with nutrients is dangerous to not only you as a human being, but to your body; it could lead to serious health issues such as organ failure. You may feel weak, lose your energy, or have gastrointestinal stress. Love brings on physical and mental pain that some may not be able to stomach.  

When going through a breakup you may hear, “It will get better over time” or “Love is just a saying.” Love may be just a saying to some people, but when you are truly, deeply, in love you can feel it. You can feel the butterflies in your stomach; you can feel the constant desire to text them; you can feel the happiness you get when you look into their eyes, or the feeling of love when they hold you tight on a cold winter’s night. Love isn’t just a saying. Love has a meaning, and it’s there for everyone to find. I found love, and I lost it. I now know what love really is and how it feels when you lose it. To some, love is just what you say to make someone happy, but to others, love is a feeling that you feel deep in your gut. Love doesn’t just disappear, the love you once had stays within your heart even when your world is falling apart.

 Although it will take time to fully heal, in that moment of heartache, you feel as though there is no time. “In Case You Didn’t Know,” a song by Brett Young, was never meant to be a wedding song but when sung at his concert, it sparked proposals. You never know how a song can reflect the way you feel about someone. Music is both stress relieving and tells us a story. We all connect with songs as we listen to them, correct? But does that song reflect on how you feel about your partner? Do you ever feel pain or sadness when you hear a song such as “Here Comes Goodbye” by Rascal Flatts?  In this song, he sings about the moment he lost the individual he felt he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. All of his plans changed after she left. You may make plans, but never let the plans take over your life. Think to yourself, “What would I do if I didn’t have this significant other?” because plans do change even when you’re not ready for it.

“Physical pain dies, lost love doesn’t.”  You may feel as though your heart is breaking; the pain will go away over time but, the love that you lost will never die within your heart. Love is not always easy, and some confuse love with passion. “I love you” is not just a saying, it has a strong meaning, and it is meant for you to find within yourself before sharing it with others. “Learn to love yourself before loving others” is a saying you may hear often. If you can’t learn to love yourself, how can you love another individual?