“Split”- Suzetta Chiappinelli (’23)

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Suzetta Chiappinelli (’23) receives accolades at VT Young Playwrights. Photo credit: Susan Palmer

Suzetta Chiappinelli, Contributor

The following play, by Suzetta Chiappinelli (’23), was selected by the 2021-2022 Vermont Young Playwrights to be performed.

Trigger/explicit content warning: This play deals with mental health issues and contains some explicit language (swears).

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2 are in a bedroom. There is a bed to the back, a table to the left, a mirror to the right, and a door to the right of the mirror. THEODORE 1 is looking in the mirror at a stain on his shirt while THEODORE 2 sits on a stool next to the table. THEODORE 1 is dressed nicely but cheap, while THEODORE 2 rocks a nice suit. The audience should not yet realize these two are the same person.

 

THEODORE 1

No… no, no, no! Why did you tell me to get another drink?

 

THEODORE 2

It’s fine, here, I’ll just get a towel. And please, can we get this done quickly? Everyone is heading out soon.

 

THEODORE 2 approaches THEODORE 1 to guide him out of the bedroom.

 

THEODORE 1

Please, don’t! It’s bright red and I don’t think it’s going to come out. We’ll just ruin a towel. I’ll- I’ll just skip the dance.

 

There is a slight pause as THEODORE 2 hears this.

 

THEODORE 2

No, you won’t. I don’t care if everyone sees you like this, you are going. I mean, who cares if they see you anyway? It’s just some punch. Nothing worth skipping a dance for.

 

THEODORE 1 walks past THEODORE 2, pacing the room.

 

THEODORE 1

It does matter! I don’t care if people don’t bother you! They still bother me.

 

THEODORE 2

Fine! Then you stay here while everyone is waiting for you so when someone does walk in, they see you like this. I mean, judging by the mess you are right now from punch it’s no surprise you can’t handle a few laughs.

 

THEODORE 1

First of all, screw you. Second of all, it’s your fault either way! You said I should get another drink and you said I should go say hi to Aidan and you said I should run over with a full cup!

 

THEODORE 2

And you decided to listen. Calm down, how about we go deal with this? The bathroom is this way. Once you get yourself under control we can join everyone.

 

THEODORE 2 tries again to usher THEODORE 1 out of the room. Again, THEODORE 1 does not move. The two glare at each other.

 

THEODORE 2

Why are you always like this?

 

THEODORE 1

I’m sorry. I really am. I just don’t want to go out there like this. I get you’re trying to help but you’re… well, you’re not helping.

 

THEODORE 2

Okay then. You take a minute and figure yourself out. Once you are under control, we can deal with the stain.

 

There is a slight silence as THEODORE 1 tries to hold back tears, rubbing his eyes as THEODORE 2 watches.

 

THEODORE 2

You do realize that with the way you are dressed nobody would care anyway?

 

THEODORE 1

What? What’s that supposed to mean?

 

THEODORE 2

I told you that if you got a job you would be able to afford a nice suit.

 

From stage left PARENT walks up to the door on the audience’s right. They go to knock but pause, pressing their ear against the door for the moment.

 

THEODORE 1

Oh, yeah. And when am I going to find time to do that?

 

THEODORE 2

Your Tuesdays are open. You would make enough money working once a week for this. 

 

THEODORE 2 points at his suit.

 

THEODORE 2

But no, you are too busy afterschool. No, you have too much homework.

 

THEODORE 1

Yeah, I actually do! Between AP homework and baseball I am slam packed!

 

THEODORE 2

Think about it, if it takes you two and a half hours to complete homework, you could easily do that after a shift of work. It’s just a slightly different schedule than usual.

 

THEODORE 1

And what about stress? I simply don’t have the time for a job, and to be healthy, okay?

 

THEODORE 2

If you thought about the time management logically then-

 

THEODORE 1

Stop telling me what to do all the time! I don’t need a job!

 

THEODORE 2

That’s true. You don’t need anything, but it would-

 

There is a knock on the door. THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2 fall silent. The stillness only lasts for a moment though as THEODORE 1 quickly straightens himself up and they both look to the door.

 

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2

Hello?

 

The door opens as PARENT peeks into the room, then fully enters, standing by the doorway.

 

PARENT

Hey Theodore! I thought I heard yelling? Is everything-

 

PARENT notices the stain on THEODORE 1’s shirt.

 

PARENT

Oh. I see. It’s nothing to worry about, here, I’ll see if Aidan has an extra shirt. And once you’re ready come on down! I want pictures of you two!

 

PARENT notices THEODORE 1 looks upset. There is a pause.

 

PARENT

Is everything okay?

 

The next two lines are delivered at the same time.

 

THEODORE 1

No.

 

THEODORE 2

Yes.

 

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2 look at each other. THEODORE 1 reluctantly matches up with THEODORE 2.

 

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2

Yes.

 

PARENT

…Okay. Let me go check on that shirt.

 

PARENT turns around to leave.

 

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2

Oh, no worries. It’s fine, I’m fine.

 

PARENT

It’s no problem either way, let me go check!

 

Before THEODORE 1 or THEODORE 2 can respond PARENT is out the door. After a slight pause THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2 turn to each other. THEODORE 1 sighs.

 

THEODORE 1

I just want to go home.

 

Scene change to a kitchen. The bed to the back is replaced with a fridge, the table to the left is moved to the right and any sort of night table props are replaced with kitchenware, the mirror is removed, and the door moves to where the table previously was. AIDAN is kneeling on the ground, cleaning up some spilled punch with a towel. PARENT walks in, picking up a dropped red solo cup and crossing to place it on the table as the scene begins. AIDAN looks up as PARENT enters.

 

PARENT

Hey Aidan! How’s that going?

 

AIDAN

Messy. How’s Theo?

 

PARENT

He’s fine. Aren’t you excited? It’s your first dance together!

 

AIDAN

Yeah! Is he coming down soon? 

 

PARENT

Actually, I was hoping you’d go get him. He spilled some punch and I think he needs a new shirt. I told Theo you’d give him one.

 

AIDAN stands up.

 

AIDAN

Extra shirt? Is his stained? I thought he tripped and that was it.

 

PARENT

Oh, it’s definitely on him, bright red and likely permanent, but that’s the worst of it.

 

AIDAN

Damn it.

 

PARENT

Language.

 

AIDAN

Shit?

 

PARENT

Aidan!

 

AIDAN

Sorry- It’s just- ugh! Theo has a tendency to overthink this sh- stuff and he’s probably up there, well, overthinking and he won’t want to go to the dance and I’m really excited about this and I want him to…

 

AIDAN notices that PARENT seems confused.

 

AIDEN

What?

 

PARENT

I mean, I just don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just a stain and if you have an extra shirt then he’s good to go.

 

AIDAN

Yes, it’s just a shirt but It’s not that simple. He gets stressed and in his head about little things like this.

 

AIDAN walks over and places the rag on the table before heading back towards the door.

 

PARENT

It’s just a stain.

 

AIDAN

I know, but it’s complicated sometimes.

 

PARENT

How so?

 

AIDAN

I just explained- nevermind. Don’t let people leave without us!

 

PARENT

Where are you going?

 

AIDAN is halfway out the door.

 

AIDAN

I’m getting a shirt, like you asked! Also would you mind cleaning up the rest? Thank you you’re the best loveyoubye!

 

AIDAN quickly rushes out of the kitchen.

 

PARENT

Aidan!-

 

PARENT sighs.

 

Another Scene change, this time back to the bedroom. THEODORE 1 Is lying face down in the bed while THEODORE 2 stands to the side.

 

THEODORE 2

So, are you going to clean yourself up?

 

No answer.

 

THEODORE 2

That’s not even your bed. Maybe try not to cry into it?

 

THEODORE 1 is slightly muffled.

 

THEODORE 1

I’m not crying.

 

THEODORE 2

Okay. Is our shirt dry? Or are you going to let the sheets absorb all that?

 

THEODORE 1 suddenly springs up and stares into the white bedsheets. He throws blankets aside then lets out a sigh of relief.

 

THEODORE 1

It’s dry enough… I think.

 

THEODORE 1 lifts the bedsheet and starts looking through it more vigorously.

 

THEODORE 2

If you didn’t see anything at first then it’s probably fine.

 

THEODORE 1

Okay. Yeah.

 

THEODORE 1 drops the sheets and sits down on the bed. THEODORE 2 joins THEODORE 1 on the bed.

 

THEODORE 2

You’re going to be fine if we go to the dance.

 

THEODORE 1

I don’t think I want to though.

 

THEODORE 2

But you should.

 

THEODORE 1

Why?

 

THEODORE 2

Aidan wants to go. He wants to go with you.

 

Silence.

 

THEODORE 2

You should go.

 

THEODORE 1 stands up and steps away.

 

THEODORE 1

I don’t want to.

 

THEODORE 2

Then what do you want? We need a decision soon because everyone will be leaving.

 

THEODORE 1

I just don’t want to!

 

THEODORE 2 stands up to join THEODORE 1. He gets rather close and places a hand on TEODORE 1’s shoulder.

 

THEODORE 2

And why is that?

 

THEODORE 1

I don’t know.

 

THEODORE 1 is clearly irritated.

 

THEODORE 2

Yes, you do.

 

THEODORE 1

No, I don’t! All I want is to be happy, and this stress and this stupid dance isn’t helping! Why can’t I just enjoy my life?!

 

With this sudden outburst THEODORE 1 pushes THEODORE 2 away, shoving him into the table where he trips and falls to the ground.

 

THEODORE 1

Why can’t I just be happy?!

 

THEODORE 2 pauses for a moment.

 

THEODORE 2

I don’t know. Is that not your job?

 

Silence.

 

THEODORE 2

Are you not the one in charge of emotion? Have I been mistaken?

 

THEODORE 1

I am… I am. It’s just- ugh! I-…

 

THEODORE 2

You’re what? Please, explain. Why are you always out of control? You are right. Why are we not happy?

 

THEODORE 1 turns away as THEODORE 2 says this.

 

THEODORE 1

I am trying really hard to be! I want to stop being stressed and sad and anxious but how am I supposed to when all you do is say I’m not good enough?

 

THEODORE 2

I haven’t ever said that.

 

THEODORE 1

Yes you have! You do! You say that if I do everything all the time I’ll be some perfect person but I can’t just make it happen! I’m not you! We’re not you! We can’t always do everything to the best of our ability and I need you to stop telling me to never mess up because I can’t be like that! I’m fucking human!

 

There is a pause and THEODORE 1 tries to calm down and THEODORE 2 thinks over what was said. After a moment THEODORE 2 stands up and goes to comfortingly place a hand on THEODORE 1, but doesn’t quite get there.

 

THEODORE 2

I… I didn’t know-

 

A knock is heard on the door. From the audience it can be seen that AIDAN is at the door with a clean white blouse in hand. He knocks then walks in without waiting.

 

AIDAN

Oh Theodore, how art thou-… oh- oh no it’s bad.

 

AIDAN drops the blouse and grabs the hands of both THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2, bringing them to the bed and sitting down. Unlike PARENT, AIDAN seems to acknowledge THEODORE 2, even if the majority of his focus is on THEODORE 1.

 

AIDAN

What’s wrong? Is it the stain?

 

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2

I don’t know.

 

AIDAN

Okay. Do you want to talk about it?

 

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2

I don’t know.

 

AIDAN

Okay. Well, take your time. We can find a way to the dance later if you want to go.

 

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2

Are you sure? I thought you wanted-

 

AIDAN

I’m sure. I mean, this way we don’t have to deal with my mom taking pictures.

 

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2

Ha. I guess so.

 

AIDAN

Yeah.

 

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2

Yeah.

 

AIDAN looks at THEODORE 1.

 

AIDAN

Theodore…

 

AIDAN looks at THEODORE 2.

 

AIDAN

Theodore… let’s just sit for a bit. If you want to talk, feel free, if not, don’t. But no matter what you’re not alone. And you’re never going to be while I’m here. All I want is for you to be happy.

 

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2 look at each other as their hands tighten around AIDEN’s.

 

THEODORE 1 and THEODORE 2

Me too.

 

The play ends here, leaving our characters leaning against each other in silent comfort, a slight understanding gained among Theodore himself, and a recognition of support from AIDAN.